Meetings of the Learned Strawmen

So you thought the Strawmen weren’t real?

That they were fictional beings? Collections of opinions that nobody actually held? Of plans that nobody had actually laid?

You were so naïve.

They do exist. They meet in secret places to lay their sinister plans. To discuss YOU. To find out how to control YOU. To make YOU think and act the way THEY want.

Let’s take a look and find out what they’re up to.

This game is about a meeting of Strawmen. It is short, and goes like this:

1. Choose whatever Strawmen you like – whether they are ones others have imagined and argued against because they were idiots, or ones that you have imagined and argued against because sometimes you’re an idiot, too. Find out what they want, and what their general plan is.

Examples: Elitist gamers who want to eradicate traditional games! Feminazis who want men to be emasculated, and women to rule the world! Racists in government who hate people that aren’t white and want to keep them poor, or even better, throw them all out! (oh wait, that last one is actually real.)

2. You will all play Strawmen. Rub your hands together and cackle evilly.

3. Find a picture of an Innocent Normal Person (INP) who Just Wants to Do the Things They Like The Way They Always Have. Hang it on the wall. Spit at it. Take turns telling the INP why you look down on them.

Examples: A guy who just wants Men to be Men and Women to be Women. A gamer who just wants to play the same games they’ve always played. A white person who just wants to protect traditional values.

4. Turn down the lights. Put just one candle on the table. Mumble ritually.

5. Start discussing, in evil whispers, the details of your plan. HOW will you eradicate traditional gaming/emasculate all men/whatever? Create events (gatherings, seminars)! Define new words that replace the old words, and everyone has to use! Decide what will NO LONGER BE ALLOWED by the Elite!

6. When you are done, cackle evilly. Shake hands evilly. Then turn on the lights.

7. Turn towards the picture of the INP. Look innocent. Each of you, in turn, denies the existence of the Strawmen. Tell the INP you respect their way of life, and would never ever interfere with it.

8. Cackle evilly one last time.

Now, the meeting is over.

But – pssst!

Don’t tell anyone about it!

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